tamara_russo | Entries tagged with efrat

After half an hour of singing I remember Hagar walking quietly behind me to not stop me from singing, and the smile she had on when I sang "Better Things" as the last song of our last photo-shoot came on.

and then, those times Efrat switched off Tori's CD I put on because she hated to hear me sing. And said so. All the time.

The clothes. Always - she hated the way I dressed. And behaved. She acted as if I couldn't be a part of the "real world" if I didn't get along with her other friends.

I keep having these little flashes of memories, and I think about these times. How, with everything that happened, still, it's better than it was.

Current Mood: pensive
Current Music: "Carry on my wayward son" - Kansas
Crossposts: http://tamara-russo.livejournal.com/304106.html

1. A few days ago my mom and I talked. I said that now, with my new facebook, Efrat would maybe send me a friendship request. She said "Efrat isn't stupid, you know", so I said that I know she isn't but she's stubborn.

Yesterday she sent me a friendship request.

I clicked "ignore".

So I told my mom - the stubbornness won.

I mean, really, dude, get a clue! We haven't spoken in more than three years, I never accepted any of her friending requests, not in youtube, not on g-buzz, why would I accept it here? And the ironic thing, she's friends with my two siblings (who still don't understand why I kicked her out of my life). Oh, man.

2. The return of the stubborn painting - but now, as a finished piece. Yes, finally, after a few months of staring and a few simple changes, it's finished. I even got my mom to say she'd hang it in the living room. I'll post a photo in a while.

3. My grates insist on "fail". Yes, the third one is here. My semester average just dropped below 60. Which also means I won't be attending the J-M pride parade, since the PDE test is that day. Crap-crappity-crap-crap.

4. Can anyone tell me why on earth does the "Fringe" episodes stop at 99% when I download them? God, so fucking annoying!

Current Music: "Dolphin song" - Tori Amos
Crossposts: http://tamara-russo.livejournal.com/282008.html

Why on earth would Efrat want to follow me on gmail buzz? And YouTube?

Current Mood: `sup?
Current Music: "Walk to Dublin" - Tori Amos

Note to self - finger-painting on a 70*100 canvas is fun!

( Also. (Efrat babble) )

Deep breath.

Also, with no connection at all - had a trip in TA today - got to Nahlat Binyamin and bought a sweet pair earrings. Walked over to Neve Zedek (beautiful part of the city) but didn't do much. All in all, I mostly enjoyed the sun and fresh air, and by the time I got back home the maid was gone.

Good.

I think my paint is dry, so on to second lair.

Current Mood: artistic and nostalgic
Current Music: "Tired of Sleeping" Suzanne Vega

תיכנון שלי אתמול היה ללכת לבזבז כסף בעזריאלי. התכנון התקדם יפה - ביקורים בסטימצקי, צומת ספרים ובסופר פארם הסתיימו בשני ספרים, חוברת תשבצים, צללית חדשה של לנקום, מסיר איפור של לוריאל וסבון חדש של דאב. הייתי די מרוצה מכל העניין.

מול הסופר פארם בעזריאלי ממוקמת החנות "אנטר". אני מתה על החנות הזאת, אבל לא נכנסתי אליה כבר חצי שנה. אפרת עובדת שם. בכל מקרה, לקראת שנת הלימודים הם הוציאו דוכן קטן לרחבת הקניון שעליו כל מני דברים לבי"ס. אני מכורה לדברים האלה, רק שתבינו, ומצאתי קלמרון קטן וחמוד, שממש מתאים לי, אז הצצתי פנימה לוודא שאפרת לא שם ונכנסתי לשלם על הקלמר.

ואז היא הופיעה מאחוריי הקופה.

אופס.

בכל אופן, ניסיתי כמיטב יכולתי להתעלם ממנה בצורה אלגנטית, אבל ידעתי שהיא ראתה אותי, ושהיא ראתה שראיתי, אז כשהגעתי לשלם היא הסתכלה עליי, בפנים קפוצים ובשפתיים מכווצות ואמרה לי "אהלן, תמי, מה העניינים?" אני סיננתי לעברה "בסדר", שילמתי ויצאתי, זורקת גם "תודה" מאחורי הכתף שלי.

אני מכירה את אפרת מצוין. המטרה שלה בכל מצב זה להיראות כאילו היא התכוננה אליו שנה מראש.

היא לא הייתה מוכנה לראות אותי. גם אני לא הייתי מוכנה לראות אותה, אבל ידעתי שיש אפשרות כזאת, והתנהגתי כמו שהרגשתי - נבוכה. היא התנהגה כמו שהיא תמיד מתנהגת - קרירה ונונשלנטית, אבל היא לא הייתה, וראיתי את זה.

אני לא יודעת למה זה משנה, ובעצם זה לא משנה לי. המבוכה שלי כנראה תהיה שם להרבה זמן, פשוט בגלל מה שקרה ביננו.

אבל אני חושבת שאני אחזור ללא להיכנס לחנות הזאת לתקופה מסוימת.

בערב אני ואבא עשינו חלק מהתשבץ הלבן הענק שיש בחוברת שקניתי. אני תמיד אומרת שזה "זמן האיכות" שלנו ביחד. זה די משעשע אותו ואת אמא שלי.

אני די רעבה. אני חושבת שאני אלך הביתה ואכין לי משהו לאכול.

Current Mood: hungry

Today's Efrat's birthday.

I have no idea if she still reads what I write, since it's been almost six months since I told her I don't want to go on with our friendship. I was going to send her an SMS when I realized I haven't written her cell number in my new phone, and I can't seem to remember it now.

On my own birthday party, some three months ago, I talked to Ruthi (

morin) about her a little bit, confessing I missed her. When I think about her now I think it doesn't feel that way anymore. I don't miss her much now, only to the good aspects of what used to be our friendship - the outings, the fun, the way we knew each other from a long time ago.

When I came back from my trip, not two weeks ago, I could feel something has changed. I know I'm a different person today than the one I was before the 2nd of July, or perhaps... Perhaps I have already changed, and it took the change of scenery to acknowledge it, to understand it and identify it.

Anyway, I'm drifting here. My point is - time has passed, and I think about what I would have done if things had stayed the way they were for the last ten years - buying a present, calling to say "happy birthday", getting ready for her party (probably making some kind of dessert), bracing myself to the awfulness of her friends' companion. All these things needn't be done now, and it's better than it's worse.

I never regretted my decision, but I had a few hard moments, moments I thought to myself "This is stupid, she's been your best friend for 11 years, how is it you can't bridge this gap? Why don't you want to fix it?" but that's it, isn't it? I don't want to fix it, and the reason is unimportant, beside the point. The fact is, I don't have to reason my actions to anybody, and it felt right when I did it six months ago, and it still feels right. In the end, I would have only resented myself if I hadn't done it.

Now, After, I hope I don't have any more of these moments, because they're hard, they remind me the things I've lost, but even if I do have them it won't matter... I know I chose the right path.

Current Mood: pensive
Current Music: "Riot Proof" Tori Amos

Only 59 days until Deathly Hallows reaches stores.

Oh. My. God.

Six weeks until we go to England and watch Tori's concert.

Everything is so damn close!!!

*~*

I'm at work stretching the time until 13:00 when I can go home. I doubt Motty will come today, so I have music on. I also finished all the things I needed to do, and I only have to call the traveling agency to try and get another two tickets to Barcelona for our contest winners.

The cafeteria has a nice buffet with cheeses and pastry, so I grabbed myself some to eat, it was nice.

Yesterday went smoothly, the picture of the soldiers is now in the paper and the convention was a success, but it tired me very much, so when I got home i had practically no strength. I went to sleep early and I slept pretty well, even though i woke up at 6:30.

I had a dream right before I woke up about me getting married. The dream kept jumping from a month before the wedding to the wedding day. A month before the wedding I drove the car to a place in Tel Aviv and parked it in a bad way [probably a glimpse of my parking yesterday when I got home... Heehee] and started walking around, looking for cats [?!?!?], and then I started crying, saying I don't want to get married without Efrat being at the wedding [probably because I've been thinking about her a lot lately], and then it was my wedding day, and my whole family was there, and my groom (have no idea how he looked), and all of a sudden a fire broke off in the hall where the Huppa was supposed to be at, and someone of my family tried to put it off with a fire extinguisher, and it didn't go off, and the fire men were already there, and I was screaming to everyone "Get out! Get out! I don't need you to die from a fire on this day!". After that we were all waiting outside (I think this place was some sort of a hotel, as I dream about hotels all the time), and then the fire was extinguished, and I remember I was running down the red-velvet-covered-stairs with my high heeled boots to check if the place could still have my wedding in, and that was when the alarm clock went off and I woke up...

Current Mood: lazy
Current Music: "Because you loved me" Celine Dion

( Ronit )

Meeting Ronit made me think "If Efrat and I were still talking I'd probably call her right now".

( Liat )

I took the time in the bath because I felt dirty, and I took two pills to help with my stomach and I managed to finish everything by the time Lilach came to pick me up. We went to have something in "Max Brenner" in Herzlia and we had the chocolate fondu (oh, yummy) and talked until I couldn't stifle my yawns so we left and headed home. I finally gave her her birthday present and we talked a little bit more about Efrat and a friend of hers who she is angry with and then I was really tired so I went up and went to sleep.

No strange dreams tonight, thank god, so I woke up very refreshed and the pain is under control without painkillers. Tomorrow I'll be picking up Udi, who will be back from the army (hopefully) and then I'll go meet Mel to buy our plane tickets and bring her over for us to watch "House".

Maybe it's time to eat (14:17 already, I've started this post in the morning)

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: "Fetharwoman" Rachael Sage in my head

הדברים לא נגמרים ביאללה ביי, כן, זה לא בדיוק ככה עם המוח האנושי.

כמעט אחת עשרה שנה חולפות לי בראש בהבזקים קצרים, אני מחייכת יותר מאשר זועפת. אני נזכרת בפעמים שהלכנו יחד למימדיון - היינו אולי בנות 14 או 15 בפעם הראשונה, ועלינו למגלשות המים פעם אחרי פעם, מטפסות בכל פעם על מדרגה אחת יותר מהשניה ואומרות "אני יותר גבוהה". והבחור הזה שראינו שם, שהיה לו גוף משולש מדהים, וחיברנו את המילים "משולשים, מכל מיני גדלים" למוזיקה של "פרפר נחמד". ולפני שנה בערך, כשהלכנו להופעה של עברי לידר במימדיון והיתה חוויה לא מהעולם הזה, ונהנינו ורקדנו עם המוזיקה, ובאמצע "זכיתי לאהוב" עברי הפסיק לשיר כי מישהו זייף נורא בקהל, והוא התחיל שוב.

או כשהיינו בכיתה י"א, והיא הבריזה משיעור פיזיקה כדי שנלך לקניון, וירד גשם זלעפות, והלכנו ברגל (דבר שלא עשינו ביחד מאז שהיא קיבלה רשיון) וכשחזרנו ראינו את המורה שלה לפיזיקה אז עשינו עיקוף מסביב לבוק, וראיתי את הלנה ורציתי לעבור את הכביש להגיד לה שלום, והאוטובוס לה בדיוק הגיע ואני נתקעתי באמצע אי התנועה, והמכוניות שעברו שם התיזו עלי כמות כזאת ענקית של מים ששתינו התפוצצנו מצחוק במשך עשר דקות רצוף.

הינו נעצרות בצומת גאולים - ההסתדרות, מחבקות אחת את השניה מסביב לכתפיים, מתחילות לרקוד את ה"קאן-קאן" ושרות "מק-מק-מק רויאל, מחכה לי במקדונלד'ס". מה היה אכפת לנו מי ראה.

הטיול שלנו לאיטליה.

הטיול שלנו לקיסריה, שישבנו בבית הקפה על החוף והצטלמנו עם המצלמה הדיגיטלית של אחיה, והשירות היה מזוויע.

הימים שהיו לנו אימוני כדורעף או חוג משפטים, והייתי באה אליה אחרי הלימודים כי הבית שלי היה רחוק יותר, והייתי אוכלת המבורגר מבורגר ראנץ' שיש מתחת לבית שלה.

היום ההוא שישבנו אצלה בחדר וזרקנו מחברות אחת על השניה, או הפעמים שישנתי אצלה ושיחקנו במשחק הדמוי מונופול הישן שהיה לה עד אמצע הלילה.

המון המון ריבים - כשצחקתי עליה בשיעור כימיה על משהו שהיא אמרה, והיא לא הסכימה לדבר איתי עד שהתנצלתי, הריב שלנו על איל כשהיא אמרה שאני לא בוגרת, (בעצם, היא קראה לי לא בוגרת כמה וכמה פעמים), הריב שהיה לנו כשהעותק שלי של הארי פוטר החמישי היה אצלה, ולקח לי שנים עד שהיא החזירה לי אותו, היא קראה לי אנוכית, אני אמרתי לה לצאת לי מהחיים, צחקנו, ההורים שלה איימו להוציא אותה מבית הספר, היא בכתה, שיחקנו במחשב, נהגתי לה באוטו, רקדנו בחתונות של האחים שלה ואחותי שלי, שתינו אלכוהול, אכלנו פיצה, כתבנו כרטיסי ברכה אחת לשניה, קנינו בגדים...

כמה שהפוסט הזה יהיה ארוך, הוא לא ימצה אפילו חלק מהדברים שקרו לנו.

אלו רק מחשבות, זה הכל.

Current Mood: nostalgic

On Wednesday I went to a movie with my dad, and right before it we went to grab a bite to eat so Michali and Eyal came to eat with us. during our conversation I told Michali about the thing with Efrat, and was quite amazed to hear her seriously doubting that it'll stick. I know where this is coming from, since I have told my family a lot of times that Efrat and myself are over, and indeed, it never stuck, but this time is different - it came from a long time of thinking, and it wasn't just me saying "I've had it" and walk away in anger. So I said nothing, and I just know time will tell the truth.

Talking to Navot, I've mentioned that particular conversation, and I said it reminded me of the skepticism my decision to not eat meat has met when I made it. Of course, that was five and a half years ago. I still don't eat meat. So Navot said "You win. Haha". That was probably the funniest thing anyone has ever said to me about that subject...

Current Mood: amused

It's 15:20, and there's nothing for me to do. My boss is abroad so there's nothing I have to do for him. Spent my morning mostly reading (finally finished "Madame") and flicking through "Blazer", playing card games and mine-sweeper on the computer and listening to MuggleCast.

I woke up this morning feeling very refreshed, a lot more energetic. Even though I went to sleep last night feeling a little bad, The way I woke up this morning told me I was at rest with what I did, and that I'll be fine, and even more than fine - I'll be better.

It was raining this morning so I couldn't go walking. I hopped with a skipping-rope instead. Boy, it was hard... I don't have aerobic stamina at all... Non the less, I managed to make it to 15 minutes of on-and-off skipping, with a lot of sweat and a high heart-rate. Hopefully I'll stick to it.

Current Mood: bored

( At work )

( Painting )

( Yesterday, or Why I love Tel Aviv, part two )

( Saturday )

Current Mood: full
Current Music: "The best thing" Savage Garden

Yesterday took an ugly turn when Efrat called and said someone hit her while on Ayalon from behind. She came pick me up non the less and we ate at "Black" - nice hamburgers (I had a vegi one, of course...), and after wards, when her back pain increased, we drove to Wolfson hospital, where we waited for someone to pay attention to us. At the end the orthopedic doctor checked her out and sent her for some x-rays. At the exact moment when she went inside for the x-rays her parents arrived and her dad gave me a ride home while her mom stayed with her at the hospital. Got home quite tired, so I didn't prepare the truffles mixture for my sister today.

Woke up today 3 minutes before the alarm clock went off. That time was enough for me to make the mixture as well as all the other stuff I do in the morning before my walk. Gave Udi the spoon for him to lick and told him I had reservation for us two at "Mul-yam" on Friday before he went to sleep (our days are completely opposite - I wake up when he goes to sleep...).

Been reading "Mistress of Spices" since this morning (bought it yesterday). It's good.

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Galgalatz

I'm tired, I know that compared to Hagar, Mel and Nurit I don't have much to complain about, but I still had a long week, with working Friday. Went to buy a birthday present for Efrat today at Azrieli, finally found her a nice present, not before I bought a pair of every-day sandals (hope they'll be fine, the last pair I bought fell apart the first time I wore them), a book (Wizard of Oz, I've been wanting it forever now) and some hair cream that was on sale. Went to to bus station with all my bags. There was this old guy who knocked two coins every couple of seconds, it drove me nuts, and when I looked at him I saw that some other girl looked at him as well, and we cought each other's eyes, and I could feel the same thought sprint between us - "God, that's annoying!"...

Efrat called and after she did a bus came and behind him my own, so I had to hang up, pick up my stuff and run to the bus at the same time, and of course I was the last one to get on it, and I had no place to sit in. Crappy. Got home and this week is over... Thank god.

Current Mood: A little tired

( Perach Party )

( The beach boys - not what you think )

( Shopping at Arena Mall )

Current Mood: naughty
Current Music: "Jamaica inn" Tori Amos

My dad making Matzebry: "(the Matzebry sticks to the pan) How did your mother stick?! (to the Matzebry)"

We went to my aunt's house for a Bar-B-Q, where we met the most bitter woman in the world (my aunt's neighbor): "(I'm standing next to her next to the salads) The meat's hot... We need to eat salads to smooth it out...Go get Spoons! (I'm shockingly look at her)"

(I'm humming the theme from "Terminator"), my cousin: "Don't do me any mental damage."
When we leave my cousin calls for me to come near his car, and plays a CD. It's "Terminator's" Soundtrack...

We talk about addictions. My cousin: "I never had a drink or a smoke in my life". Me: "I drink, but I never had a smoke in my life as well, but I have other addictions". A relative, no idea who he is: "Like what?". Me: "Harry Potter (my cousin nods in approval)..."

I painted my fingernails bright red. I like it. I get in to Efrat's car. Efrat: "Who's got the nails of a witch?" Me: "(Trying not to get angry). Efrat: "It's really old". Me: "No it's not, all the young girls wear it... Besides, I like it". Efrat: "O.K."

I went to a fantasy-sci-fi convention. The HP prophecy ("The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...") is written on a sign, in Hebrew. Me: "Why in Hebrew? (quotes the entire thing in English)". My cousin: "(Shocked silence)".

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: "The times they are A-changing" The Byrds

Long week. Very long. Finally, I have some time off, and I finally have some time to write.

Sunday - Always a dreadful day, long and annoying. On top of the stomach ache I had, I had to endure 10 hours at uni, with 4 hours off scattered around the day. Not to mention the fact that on saturday I got really mad about the ME exercise I had to do (twice the volume, half the time we usually have and a quiz on tuesday) and the nerves leaked into sunday... But at least the exercise was submitted. I will probably get 40 or so, but I couldn't care less. Got home and was planning to study when Efrat called and told me about her awful day... After that I couldn't do a thing besides sleeping.

Monday - came to uni only for two hours, finished endocrinology and went to the lab, talked to Neta-li on my project paper and drove home (thank go I had the car), I got home and started studying, feeling how every bit of strength is sucked out of me... On three I had Perach, which was fun but time consuming (I do like Hide-and-seek, and Tag as well), but I did get some studying done. Finished studying at home for the night, and went to sleep at 22:30.

Tuesday - Got up at 5, so I could study some more. However odd it sounds, I knew I would have a better day than the last three. After ME ended, I was very relived - at least the quiz was over, and I wouldn't have to worry about that any more. Few. I decided to go to the mall for some re-energizing. Had fun walking around Azrieli, but I missed the bus when I got out of there. Waited over half an hour to the bus and when it came it was so crowded I stood all the way right next to the driver. Traffic jams did not make the thing better, and I eventually had to pass on going home before I had a Perach meeting in the center. I was so fucking hot from the bus ride, that when I got there I quickly removed all my sweaters and coats and sat outside with an undershirt. A very small undershirt. Everyone stared at me, but after re-telling the story about five times all where at ease. Not that I care. The meeting went on forever, and I had to call it a day because it was my brother's birthday and we where going out to celebrate. I called my mom and she was "too tired to pick you up". I got so angry, she promised me she would come... Caught the bus (after 10 minutes waiting... Too long for a bus station that a bus runs through every 2 minutes...) and my mom called and asked where I was. I told her I just got off the bus and she said "Okay, so we're coming down..." I told her (well, shouted is more likely) that I wanted to change, and she said Okay. I got home fuming and had no time, so I just re-did my hair and we left. We ate at a hamburger place called "Agadir" and I had the vegi-burger. It was quite good. I went to bed at 00:20. Late.

Wednesday - Blessing god for the end of the week, uni was fine. I had the first of a series of lectures about popular culture at night in "Ariella's house" which is a library in Tel-Aviv. I had a lot of fun - it was very interesting. I got home and stayed awake till 00:00 to see if all is well in the universe, and when everything setteled (and "House" was over) I went to bed.

Today - Got up late. Finally. Spent my morning reading and relaxing towards tonight (which would be a war zone but fun), and now I am going to do all kinds of chores my mom laid on my... At least this week is over, and the next one will be far less stressful.

Tami.

Current Mood: excited
Current Music: "Take me away" Averil Levigne

Hi you all - just a quick thing - I know some of my stuff is airing twice, it's supposed to be fine now, it was something to do with the spell check. let me know if it happens again, though I wouldn't know what to do if it does...

More updates:
Wednesday: After I finished my last class I was supposed to take video cameras from my lab for an observation. I forgot. Only when I got back to my car I remembered, and then I ran back and got them, ran back to the car, picked up my sister and her friends and drove half way home when my lab supervisor Neta-li called and said I HADN'T TAKEN THE BATTERIES... Crap. Dropped off all of my passengers (each in a different location... Can you spell - inconsiderate?), Got home, ate at top speed, found I didn't know the address of the woman I was supposed to go to, called her, and she canceled the observation. I was quite relived, to tell you the truth, but still... Why not call, for god's sake?!?!?! Went to the store with my mom and dad, only to discover when I got home, I hadn't bought what I needed the most... Fuck. Finished the day growing roots on my couch in front of the T.V. Long day.

Thursday: Got up two hours after the alarm clock went off. Luckily, didn't have to go the university, only to go to the store, buy some chocolate (what I have forgotten on Wednesday) and make chocolate truffles' batter. Went over to my best friend's house to help her plan a romantic night for herself and her boyfriend. We went shopping, tried to burn a CD (and failed miserably), went for lunch at a meat restaurant (I had Salmon... very tasty) with one of her best friends, got back to her place, cleaned her room, rolled the truffles in coco and powdered sugar, and then I left. again, long day.

Friday: got up at 5:45, got dressed and drove (thankfully in my car) to the university. WE HAD A FIELD TRIP... I take some classes with tours in them, and it feels like fifth grade. Anyway - we drove to Beit-She'an, which is about two hours from Tel-Aviv in a bus, and we had a very nice tour in a factory that produces natural enemies to pest insects, and bees for pollination of tomato flowers. It was very interesting, and I'm not even being sarcastic - it was actually fun! Not to mention I like the people who are on this class with me. I had fun, but it cut my weekend in half, and I already spent my whole thursday not relaxing, which made this weekend very fun but very short. when we got back I spent all my free time watching what I had taped the last day - The last two episodes of "Felicity" (yes, I know it's dumb) and "The district", which I love but never got a chance to watch until it got to a normal T.V. station.

Saturday: Finally got a chance to sleep in for a while. When I got up, my mom made some pancakes, and I got into organizing the house with my dad because we had company for lunch - my sister and her husband, my grandparents and two of my cousins. My dad and also went to buy some ice-cream for dessert. After lunch I spent the rest of my time watching ALL my favorite Saturday T.V. shows (I DO watch a lot of T.V., don't I?) and went to bed early.

"And that's all I have to say about that" - Forest Gump.

And so, another week begins... See you later, Tami.

Current Mood: drained
Current Music: "Sulsbury hill" - Peter Gabriel

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December 2016

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