(no subject)

I got an sms from Helena yesterday - a class meeting (my high school class) on the 29th.

My first response was, of course, hell, I'm definitely not going to go. The problem is, it bothers me. I don't know why it bothers me, and that bothers me as well...

The thing is, I hated most of the kids in my class (they made sure I'll have miserable teen years on every chance they got), and most chances are Efrat will be there as well. I told Mel and Helena it would be funny to take Mel with me and introduce her as my girlfriend (sure to make a few people gap), and I'm pondering.

I really have no desire to see all of those people, and that should be my biggest reason not to go.

I hate it so much that they still affect my life, this thing came out of the fucking blue.

On the other hand, I stopped caring what they're thinking about me a long time ago, and I have a life now - friends, people I love who don't put me down every day, who don't make me cry.

I'm not going to go, I know I won't. It just made me look at the past, and I don't like what I see. Never did.

But why can't I be free of them?