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Jul. 31st, 2007 10:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tamara_russoThird day of my period, the pains are somewhat subsided. Hopefully it'll stay moderate until the end, I've no desire to go back to painkillers.
Went out to eat at "River noodle bar" last night with Lilach. I had completely forgotten about our plans and was about to make myself some dinner when she smsed me to remind me. We ended up having great fun (the place has really nice food in wonderful prices - I only payed 70 NIS, and that was with a big dish of noodles, a fruit shake, diet coke and tip. Needless to say, she heard all about my trip, and got her present. I came home at 22:50 to find my mom irritated that I haven't walked the dogs, so I did it, reluctantly, and only then went to sleep.
I've been sleeping with the AC on these past few nights, which is something I try not to do, even at summer, because my room has really nice breeze during most of the nights, but I have to admit - the heat is really bad during the night, and I would sleep much worse if the AC wasn't on. Plus, my cats have managed to tear my screen yet again, so it's with a cockroach and mosquito hazards that I leave the window open. So, the AC makes it all much simpler.
I've re-read Dobby's death yesterday. Shameful, I'll admit I've cried again, and it doesn't matter I was sitting on the bus. Of all deaths in DH, Dobby's struck me the most - perhaps it was the manner in which he had died, or perhaps the complete lack of action right after that that would have distracted me (no singing), or perhaps it was Harry's own portrayed grief that made me feel so bad for the elf, or just because I loved the little creature, and his death was so unfair and cruel, I don't know. When I read it for the first time I had to put down the book and I cried for a good 15 minutes, and only then I could start reading again, but still, with tears in my eyes and constant nose blowing. However, when I think about it, and I think about all the other deaths that have happened in the HP series, like Dumbledore and Sirius, Fred, Lupin and Tonks, and even that scene when Harry goes into the forest to meet his own death, I still know that the feeling of ripping inside of me wasn't as strong as it was when I had read about Lyra leaving Pantalaimon behind to go to the land of the dead in "The Amber Spyglass", the last of the HDM series. I think to myself, why is that? Death is a thing that people believe to be the ultimate devestation. When I look at death scenes in all kinds of books (HP taken as an example because it was recently read, plus it has a vrey high mortality rate) it's usually the dying person's loved ones who are shown, so that's the pain I, as a reader, feel. I see myself as a mourner, a person who has lost someone to death, and that's terrible - to have no way of ever being with that person ever again, to never see their face, to never hear their voice... The feeling is terrible.
And I think about that scene that Lyra is putting her daemon down, looking into his eyes (her own soul's eyes), and making a point not to avert her gaze, and that feeling that something is ripped from inside of her, that, that is something that is beyond terrible. The first time I read that scene I had a huge weight inside of me for days on end, I kept crying even when I was sitting inside the bath. From all the death scenes in DH, non is more powerfull than the one scene that Harry walks into the forest - in that scene he is sacrificing himself for those he loves, and he know at that point he'll never see those people and places again - he is leaving all that is dear to him behind, but still - not a part of himself. A daemon is yours from birth, people and places are yours from acquiring during life. The thing with dying - it is a part of life, no matter what we want. Most people accept that fact, and those who don't, well... They will also die, of course. I don't know what's my point, to tell you the truth. The thing is, in HDM, death is losing your daemon, which means, loosing your soul. In HP, death doesn't affect one's soul, only one's body.
I guess that was why I felt so horrified in HDM, and HP's deaths were less terrible for me to read.
Went out to eat at "River noodle bar" last night with Lilach. I had completely forgotten about our plans and was about to make myself some dinner when she smsed me to remind me. We ended up having great fun (the place has really nice food in wonderful prices - I only payed 70 NIS, and that was with a big dish of noodles, a fruit shake, diet coke and tip. Needless to say, she heard all about my trip, and got her present. I came home at 22:50 to find my mom irritated that I haven't walked the dogs, so I did it, reluctantly, and only then went to sleep.
I've been sleeping with the AC on these past few nights, which is something I try not to do, even at summer, because my room has really nice breeze during most of the nights, but I have to admit - the heat is really bad during the night, and I would sleep much worse if the AC wasn't on. Plus, my cats have managed to tear my screen yet again, so it's with a cockroach and mosquito hazards that I leave the window open. So, the AC makes it all much simpler.
I've re-read Dobby's death yesterday. Shameful, I'll admit I've cried again, and it doesn't matter I was sitting on the bus. Of all deaths in DH, Dobby's struck me the most - perhaps it was the manner in which he had died, or perhaps the complete lack of action right after that that would have distracted me (no singing), or perhaps it was Harry's own portrayed grief that made me feel so bad for the elf, or just because I loved the little creature, and his death was so unfair and cruel, I don't know. When I read it for the first time I had to put down the book and I cried for a good 15 minutes, and only then I could start reading again, but still, with tears in my eyes and constant nose blowing. However, when I think about it, and I think about all the other deaths that have happened in the HP series, like Dumbledore and Sirius, Fred, Lupin and Tonks, and even that scene when Harry goes into the forest to meet his own death, I still know that the feeling of ripping inside of me wasn't as strong as it was when I had read about Lyra leaving Pantalaimon behind to go to the land of the dead in "The Amber Spyglass", the last of the HDM series. I think to myself, why is that? Death is a thing that people believe to be the ultimate devestation. When I look at death scenes in all kinds of books (HP taken as an example because it was recently read, plus it has a vrey high mortality rate) it's usually the dying person's loved ones who are shown, so that's the pain I, as a reader, feel. I see myself as a mourner, a person who has lost someone to death, and that's terrible - to have no way of ever being with that person ever again, to never see their face, to never hear their voice... The feeling is terrible.
And I think about that scene that Lyra is putting her daemon down, looking into his eyes (her own soul's eyes), and making a point not to avert her gaze, and that feeling that something is ripped from inside of her, that, that is something that is beyond terrible. The first time I read that scene I had a huge weight inside of me for days on end, I kept crying even when I was sitting inside the bath. From all the death scenes in DH, non is more powerfull than the one scene that Harry walks into the forest - in that scene he is sacrificing himself for those he loves, and he know at that point he'll never see those people and places again - he is leaving all that is dear to him behind, but still - not a part of himself. A daemon is yours from birth, people and places are yours from acquiring during life. The thing with dying - it is a part of life, no matter what we want. Most people accept that fact, and those who don't, well... They will also die, of course. I don't know what's my point, to tell you the truth. The thing is, in HDM, death is losing your daemon, which means, loosing your soul. In HP, death doesn't affect one's soul, only one's body.
I guess that was why I felt so horrified in HDM, and HP's deaths were less terrible for me to read.
