Like a Good Book

OK. Have you seen Vienna Teng's kickstarter project? (Here)

Worth a buck just to get the updates - A Capella songs all over the place... The last one is "Patterns", and boy did she have fun with that (and some plastic cups).

*~*

See, I've been thinking about yesterday all day. The sad thing is, if my sister were a friend I would have called her and simply said I don't really want her in my life anymore, but I can't do that, and we have the Holiday dinner on Wednesday. I guess... I guess I'm just going to really chill things out for a while.

I don't really care anymore. That's the worst part.

(I'll say it again - if you want me to treat you like an adult, behave like one. You can't expect me to take you seriously while you're shrilling like a five-year-old).

Yeah, well, so today was TOTAL SHIT.

It started with a mistake I discovered I made at work, on something I checked three or four times. Obviously, Asaf wasn't happy.

And then he asked me when I'll have something for him. This week. It's six full technical articles, 100-150 pages long in English. Yeah, summarized and ready at your commend. Yes, I've had them for three weeks, but I've been doing other stuff, more urgent stuff, stuff that HE FUCKING ASKED ME TO DO AND THEN DISCARDED. And then we went and asked me to work on the accident report. And I said well, now I would really have no time for the articles, but it seems like he didn't really listen when I said it.

So I stayed until 19:30 today and only made it through half of the report, and then my mom called and said we have some update on the trial, and it ain't a good one.

So I'm going to have a burrito now and, so help me, wash away this day with guacamole.

Lovely morning. As soon as I woke up my mom informed me that she found rat poison in the cats' dishes downstairs.

As our neighbors are known to be cat haters (and we had them complaining about them a few times, including the city patrol brought in) we know it's them. They've been making our lives difficult since they came to live here (they stopped paying for the gardener, the wife has a small business in the downstairs storage room, they litter all over the place and there's nothing we say or ask that they comply), and the problem right now is how to get evidence to file a complaint.

As far as I've read on line, it's a criminal offense to poison cats, so we have a case, and it's written that most people who do it boast about it - so my plan is to record them at it and go to the police with that.

I know the case won't hold much, due to "public indifference", but I'm still going to do it. I'm not in the custom of bowing down to bullies.

I've been shaking with rage since this morning and I honestly can't calm myself down.

I loved "Beautiful Creatures". Loved it to death, but they changed quite a bit of the plot, and got rid of a few good characters. A few I really liked.

I also got the feeling it could have ended right then and there at the end of this movie, when there are three more books in the series.

But.

See, when I read the first book I was annoyed to discover (as I usually am, these days) that the book was the first in a series. This might sound odd - I read tons of good series's of books. Having the characters grow from book to book and spending more times with them, after you already grew to love them is awesome.

But.

I'm kinda sick and tired reading a lovely book and not get an ending. It happened to me again this week, with "Miss Peregrine's home for Peculiar Children". Goddammit, can't anyone write a self contained book anymore? Must all books have sequels upon sequels? You have a great story to tell - great. Write one fucking book. If it's too long cut into it. Distill it. Longer plots don't necessarily mean a better story, just a longer one.

But I'm raving. What I wanted to say (even though I love the Caster Chronicles, and Artemis Fowl, and Thursday Next and all the others) - I loved this movie. I can live without it having sequels and the plot would still make sense (it didn't at the end of the first book - you could feel it, that nagging feeling that things aren't closed). And most of all, Ethan and Lina (my god, I can't even remember her real name, the one they revealed at the end of the forth book) were amazing together. It was so strong I felt it. Something moved in me when they kissed (it happens, not a lot, but it does. It started four years ago, when I feel that, for real, from a story, from a movie, it stirs inside of me and makes me know it's real).

[Yeah, "Miss Peregrine" joined "Why the Evolution is right" in my clean shelves project, which is alive after two dead months. More on that at the end of March]

Thank you mom, for making a not-so-great outing as it was to unbearable shit.

STOP CRITICIZING MY FUCKING DRIVING.

My god.

(oh, and "I give it a year" is a blah movie, and now I need a ramification)

I'm in Haifa and wanting so bad to go home. The past few days weren't good, and the thoughts in my head are spinning into places I didn't really think they would at this point.

Here's what's going on.

Middle of last week I got a call from HR Europe saying they won't have any work for me in the foreseeable future in drilling fluids in Israel so would I mind moving to Wireline? [wireline is the department the guys who were accepted with me are on].

So I said yes, and after getting better from the stress/sickness I got here on Saturday evening. I didn't know what wireline means, but I thought at least I'd have something to do.

And then on Saturday I was sitting in the train station and crying and crying and didn't get why.

The thing is, when I was accepted here I was really looking forward to this adventure. Going abroad, meeting new people, doing something which will give my career a big boost.

And all of a sudden I'm sitting in the train station and crying.

And maybe that's the biggest problem here, and all the other stuff is just excess justification, or maybe I just felt what is right before realizing the logical explanations.

I'm sitting here, wearing a (yet again) too big a coverall, feeling like this is so not my thing. I'm not the person to walk around in coveralls, I have a problem with lifting these big pieces of equipment (I still feel my back being not so nice about yesterday's work), I have a nasty boss, and, according to the Israeli guys here (who were the only two people who sat next to me in lunch and didn't have their heads stuck in their phones) I will get no actual engineering experience from this job. I'll be a well paid technician and a well paid labor worker (yeah, manual labor I can't really do) but that's it.

But this is not what's making me cry.

What's making me cry is the fact that I know that until I quit this job (be it at the end of this month or in five years) I will not be around the people I love, and that trumps out any fucking adventure.

So yes - I'm weak. I get away from home for a day and a half and I'm already a crying mess - but maybe that's just who I am.

Maybe I just care more about being in a loving environment more than I care about this career.

And, oh my god, I sound like a baby, but peeing in these coveralls is hell. And the Fridays aren't mine, I feel like I'm in the army. Seems like I haven't changed that much...

And I'm super cold in this fucking workshop.

It all comes down to the fact, that the longer I look at this the more it seems like this is not the kind of work environment I want.

More later.

Going to Haifa tomorrow, until Friday, and will be going there again next week, Sunday through Friday...

Yes, it seems like they remembered me at last, but it's a "Zero to a Hundred in 3.6 seconds" kind of thing.

Oh, and they moved me to another product line, which basically means all the e-courses I did up until now are fucking useless (except the SPE courses).

I feel like I'm starting another new job tomorrow, and I didn't even apply for one.

Crap.

Still no word about work.

/happy-not/

I have the longest shopping list ever, but I made a good dent in it yesterday.

After another worthless day at the office (more about that later) I dragged myself to Dizengof Center (thankfully the cramps were subsided enough to make it possible to be in my feet for a few hours). Made it to the mall by 16:30 and ( headed straight to the iDigital store for new headphones )

A long story short, I left with another pair after 30 minutes of tech inspections and phones browsing.

Took a turn around and went to the new area to see if I could find a pair of good work-out shoes (my pair is 6 years old and the soles are completely worn off) and got a pair in Adidas (and they're pink, to match my work out bag). The sales girl was lovely, and she thought I was 22, so all the more reason to like her... :)

Tried the computer store for a laptop bag, but those they had were as ugly as a Klingon, so I tried Soho and got a good one which may not be the most special, but is good enough to walk with (I still need another bag for my other stuff, but meh) and is elegant enough for my abroad trips, when they come.

I still need good work shoes and boots, not to mention bras, but I was out of strength and hands, so I took off.

All in all, good shopping trip.

As for work - well, I'm not going this week for the first general course. My "Career Manager" decided to postpone it. The reason he gave me was that I had nothing to do in Israel at the moment (no shit, Sherlock) so I need to see where I'm going to get my training done. Very annoying, and according to ER (project manager here in Herzlia) there might be the reason of money in there somewhere. I think he's right, since going to Houston for two weeks will be a good thing to do that's not in Israel...

The February course is still on, as far as I know, and I will really fight him if he'll want to postpone that one.

Which all comes down to that I still have no idea what I'm doing the next couple of weeks. I finished all the e-courses and, well, what I do most of the day is surfing...

I'm at home, and I doubt I'll be back at the office before Tuesday. They have nothing to let me do, and I don't have a password or user name that I know of yet, so I can't do a thing even at home.

This uncertainty kills me.