The difficulty of change
Apr. 26th, 2014 12:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tamara_russoThe past few weeks have been troubled. My work status is bothering me to no end, the pressure, my decision to try and find something else, the realization I don't know what that "something else" actually means, and than my dad's birthday party on Tuesday, to which I need to make a nice presentation.
And then "Divergent" hit.
And again, in a time of troubled thought and change, like five years ago (oh god), I submege myself in a story which slithers through me, and I thought "Well, stories come when you need them, and the change that comes with them helps", but what if it's just a defense mechanism? Just something to run to, because I don't want to deal, or.
Or something to let my mind the time it needs to, do, what? Heal? Decide?
(I won't use the "What am I supposed to do" icon. Not yet, which says I'm still better than the worst).
And then "Divergent" hit.
And again, in a time of troubled thought and change, like five years ago (oh god), I submege myself in a story which slithers through me, and I thought "Well, stories come when you need them, and the change that comes with them helps", but what if it's just a defense mechanism? Just something to run to, because I don't want to deal, or.
Or something to let my mind the time it needs to, do, what? Heal? Decide?
(I won't use the "What am I supposed to do" icon. Not yet, which says I'm still better than the worst).
